It was no surprise that once we were married, people didn’t hesitate to ask:
“Are you pregnant yet?”
“When are you starting a family?”
“What are you waiting for? Clock’s ticking!”
“Why aren’t you drinking?”
I took it in my stride for a while, told people not to worry and that we’d let them know when I was pregnant. I’m generally a positive and open person but this is one thing that really annoys me and everyone else who is going through struggles with fertility. You never know the situation people are in – they could be grieving a miscarriage, they may be suffering in silence, in the process of fertility treatment or have faced numerous failed IVF cycles. You may not realise the effect this can have on someone but I can assure you they probably want to punch you in the face and tell you to f$*% off. If this can detract one person from asking this question then this post has achieved its purpose!
When you’re trying to conceive, everyone around you seems to be pregnant or having babies. It starts to get to you when you hear of all the teen pregnancies and people getting pregnant without trying, or hearing of parents who neglect their children or hearing people constantly complaining about their pregnancy and kids. It’s obvious they haven’t faced the challenges of infertility. I urge you to think before you speak. Your seemingly innocent questions and comments may be received with a fake smile that’s hiding a deep pain, frustration and stress beneath. The bottom line is whether you’re a family member, friend or just a nosy person in general, it’s really none of your business and if someone wants to let you in they will do so at their own time.