The dreaded 2WW follows the embryo transfer. This is the time when you’re advised not to do a HPT before the BETA as you could face a false BFP or BPN. It’s the time where you literally can’t do anything to make time pass quicker, you question every little symptom you feel and it can be very nerve racking because you won’t know the outcome of your transfer until BETA confirms it. The nurses will tell you to keep a neutral mindset about your result in hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.
I read this on a forum during my 2WW and had a giggle to myself. It couldn’t be more true!
“The degree of insanity a woman TTC experiences is inversely proportional to the number of days remaining in her 2WW.”
Of all the cycles we had done previously, I truly felt like I wasn’t pregnant this time round. There had been many occasions before where I had convinced myself I was pregnant from all of the symptoms but it wasn’t meant to be, being negative every time. This time I didn’t feel pregnant and just had a gut feeling that it wasn’t going to be a successful transfer. I caved in and tested at 5dp5dt. I knew that because I was doing a FET I didn’t have any trigger medication in my system that could give a false positive.
I thought testing at home would be the easy part. But it wasn’t. Because deep down I knew that this would be the first time I would POAS knowing it would be our best ever chance of having a positive result. Seeing the two lines that I’ve never legitimately seen before. A simple 3 minute test. I leave the test and set the countdown timer on my phone. 180 seconds.
My mind starts thinking…what am I doing? The clinic told me to wait 11 days before the official pregnancy blood test. To resist the urge to test at home for a false result could appear. Who am I kidding!? I’d rather know in the comfort of my own home if the result was going to be negative. It would be easier to face now then to receive a call when I’m at work breaking the bad news to me.
I’m interrupted by the alarm on my phone. I look down at the test. The tiniest, faintest, thinnest line, barely visible to the eye – a ‘squinter’ in IVF forum terms. At this stage I wonder if my mind is playing tricks and I’m just seeing what I want to believe is there. I call DH into the bathroom and ask him to look at the result. “There’s no line. I can’t see anything.” I tell him to look again and he squints firmly, his eyes still adjusting to the light at 4.30am. “I think I see it but I don’t know.” We felt a glimmer of hope but convinced ourselves that for some reason it could be false and we could just be ‘seeing things’. If I really was pregnant and this was a positive result, the level of hcG in my system would increase each day, producing a darker line. That’s when I decided to test every day until BETA.
6dp5dt: The line was so so faint but slightly more visible than the previous day. DH could see it at first glance. I could definitely see it now but still didn’t believe it deep down.
7dp5dt: There’s no denying what we can see. We get a little excited but DH keeps his cool and says we should just wait for the blood test before we start celebrating. Days felt like weeks and trying to fall asleep at night felt like an eternity. It was difficult to sleep in the days leading up to the blood test. I was still doubting myself because the symptoms I was feeling could have been as a result of the transfer or AF. I honestly believed it was AF as I had experienced the exact same symptoms prior to my failed cycles.
BETA – the moment of truth
11dp5dt: The clinic opened at 7am and I arrived as the doors were opening. I was fifth in line of all the eager ladies I assume were waiting for the same test. I was told I would receive a call from the nurse with my result at around lunch time so off to work I go. I hoped for the busiest day I could possibly imagine and got stuck into work to distract myself from the long wait until lunch time.
I left my phone on vibrate so I wouldn’t miss the call and took my phone with me any time I left my desk. At 10.39am ‘MIVF’ flashed on my phone as it began ringing. I’m caught by surprise as they’re calling so much earlier than I expect. I power walk away from my desk and get outside as quickly as I can, answer my phone and rush through the identification questions. I couldn’t believe my ears.
“We’re so so thrilled to say you’ve had a positive result! Congratulations, you’re pregnant!”
Although we had already seen the two very clear lines over a number of days, I was still in total shock and disbelief. The nurse said my hcG levels were very convincing at 386 and that I was 4 weeks and 2 days pregnant. She told me that my progesterone levels were still looking good and just to be safe, they would repeat the blood test in two days time to check hcG levels are continuing to increase. At 13dp5dt my levels increased to over 1000. Your hcG levels should double every couple of days, but don’t go crazy analysing these figures and comparing them to the results of other women. Everyone’s results are just so, so different.
It’s now official! After six failed rounds of ovulation induction, 193 needles, 25 eggs collected and 1 embryo transfer, our bub is due in February 2018!